An espresso cup sits on a tablecloth next to a folded newspaper

It feels pretty silly, writing a roundup of inane coffee news with the world seemingly on the verge of collapse. This weekend, the United States Senate will probably vote to confirm a Supreme Court Justice who is demonstrably unfit for duty, while Indonesia recovers from a devastating tsunami and Britain brexits happily along.

And, as always, there’s the underlying existential dread of a warming planet.

On the upside, an eight-year-old Swedish girl pulled an ancient sword from a lake, so maybe she’ll fix everything now that she’s queen?

However, we’re here to discuss coffee, and coffee we shall discuss.

Lavazza Acquires Coffee Division Of Mars Incorporated - via Sprudge

Lavazza, the Italian coffee giant, has apparently spent $650 million to purchase the coffee arm of Mars, Inc.

The main question here is: Mars had a coffee division?

Read the full story here.

What You Need to Know Before Buying an Espresso Machine - via Perfect Daily Grind

A shot of espresso sits on a counter in front of a shiny La Marzocco espresso machine

Unless you can afford to drop a significant amount of money on a home espresso setup, you’re better off just spending the $2.50 or whatever on a shot at your favorite local cafe.

Coffee shops spend lots of money on equipment, staff, and training, in order to make sure the espressos they serve are top quality.

Hell, the water filtration systems alone can cost thousands.

Basically, if you want consistent, tasty espresso, the kind your favorite shop pulls for you, then that $200 plastic box in your kitchen is just not going to cut it.

But, if you’re still interested, you can read the full story here.

KoRn is the latest metal band to launch their own coffee range – and it’s called Korn Koffee - via NME

Yep, KoRn has a coffee line, cleverly titled Korn Koffee. That’s all you really need to know.

And the best bit? They’re not the only heavy rock band with their own range of coffee—Megadeth bassist David Ellefson has a coffee company called Ellefson Coffee Co., and Benante’s Blend is a creation of Anthrax drummer Charlie Benante (clearly, creative brand naming isn’t the forte for these musicians).

Read the full story here.

Is coffee good for you?

This week there’s no update on the ever-burning question of coffee’s health benefits.

But Liz Hurley has apparently stopped drinking it in an effort to “be more healthy”, so make of that what you wish.

Man sits on a park bench reading a newspaper

What to read

Being A Coffee Snob Is So Last Decade by David Lansel

Coffee In India: A Complex History And A Promising Future by Anamika Ghosh

Until next week, drink some metal coffee. And register to vote.

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